On Conditioning Air

air conditioning

Listen, I’m not here to tell you that the luxuries of modern day America make us soft, pliable meatbags just asking for and alien takeover… But when it’s 62 degrees accompanied by the sweet sound of light rain drops I don’t think I need to listen to the ‘soft’ hum of the air conditioner all night.

62 degrees in June seems like awfully nice sleeping weather.

air conditioner weather

I’d break this down for you in Celsius, but I went to a Midwestern public school.  Just like Gluttony and Envy, centigrade stands as a deadly sin.

I should clarify.  Our A/C unit is about as soft as soft as a demolition derby on Independence Day Weekend.  Because I reside in a beautiful brownstone apartment in South Boston, I don’t have access to the modern amenities like central air conditioning.  The lease forbids window A/C because we can’t chance killing a millennial walking their golden doodle while they are ‘working from home’ one windy Tuesday afternoon.

So we’re left with a deal with the Amazon devil and a bit more credit card debt disguised as a ‘portable air conditioner.’  Window fans you ask? We refuse to resort to using window fans like animals… So my cohabitant insists on the A/C to sleep.  It’s a battle lost before I knew we had waged war.

Out of protest, I’m sticking it out on the couch for now. I just think that 91% humidity probably bothered the manliest of men, once upon a time.

Stay Cool,

CHS

On Embedding Tweets

Success.

I arrived to work a bit early today… flagrant disregard for health, safety, and others on a bicycle provides me with extra time to stop sweating in the cubsicle (seriously A/C is cranked, it could be AZ hot outside and I’d still hang meat in this building).  *hang meat is not a euphemism here*

Anyway, I used the time to learn how to embed a tweet from Twitter onto a WordPress site.

  1. Write brilliant tweet aka microblog
  2. Click embed tweet option on twitter
  3. Copy provided URL
  4. Paste in the HTML Tab to add brilliant microblog to blog
  5. Easy peasy lemon squeezy

Alright time to hit up the locker room to hang meat and get into my office costume.  *hang meat is a euphemism here*

CHS

On Retro Gaming

xwingvtiefighter

What’s the first thing a guy does, with a tall-boy in hand, on a hot summer’s eve and a minute to himself with his new computadora?  My cohabitant went to bed a few minutes early; I decided to do some testing on the limits of my new professional interwebs machine by downloading some games from the late nineties… ya know like the days when we all sat in the same room with computers physically connected to each other.

Anyways, I’ve now got a copy of the old flight games, and I’m looking forward to erasing some of those rebel scum.  Yeah I’m team Y-Wing, but in all honesty give me a Tie Advanced and I’m reliving the glory days… too bad e-sports didn’t become a thing because I’d have been a varsity A-The-Lete.

90’s kid,

CHS

On Cooking

He makes a great fish

I was cooking with oil, but now I’m cooking with gasoline… lookout world “A Failure to Communicate” begins *ahem* restarts now.

Just got a new computer, a ThinkPad, because it’s got a built in Smart Card reader so I can get my emails from the ArrrMeee and because my day job utilizes the couple years older models.  That’s urban camouflage if I ever heard of it.

Swedish fish out,

CHS

On Late Starts

Dear Man in the Mirror
late start
Where does the time go?  I’m starting writing a bit later in life than I’d recommend.  The days of cocksureness gave way to the flaccid flip-flop of moderate life for me a couple years back.  Instead, I find myself sitting in a cubicle imagining a world of greater responsibility affecting masses with carefully curated words.  Instead of easily illustrating the ills of the world, I’ve become a bit apathetic.

I thought I’d enjoy some success, working a job, playin’ Army every couple weekends all while logging on to shout into the void that was on-line education. Now I’m endlessly employed, a cog in the military machine and walking down the street with a piece of paper (that’s not the god’s honest truth because they still need to mail it to me in a ‘Do Not Bend’ envelope), but  I’ve produced nothin’ of any real worth.  Certainly, nothin’ that will last beyond the time it took to put the words on the page.

Luckily, I’m on my way.  I’ve not created anything lasting yet, but there is still time.  I put in my time, learned the lessons and read, read, read.  The man in the mirror may be the only one to read this and all the subsequent posts, but I would consider a shame if I didn’t reach the people out there in their cubicles with a little fire left in their bellies, or some vinegar in their piss.  Sometimes ya gotta stop writing about what something is going to be and just write to see what it becomes.  Looking forward to seeing you in the mirror.

CHS

On The Side Hustle

Once referred to as a side job, the more contemporary term ‘side hustle’ denotes sources of extra income hold the allure of extra discretionary spending or upgrades of essential items like domicile, transportation and sustenance Unfortunately as one of the oldest and wisest of the Millenials(1), when researching possible income supplements ‘side hustles’ appear to be less of a second job and more of a quick cash grab.

 

rich-guy

how much for the stupid glasses?

 

When I started in on some research of possible second incomes I found an article on Forbes which attempted to capture the easiest ways for Millenials to be handed money as soon as possible.  They include activities like:

  1. Remote English Teacher
  2. Online Dating Consultant
  3. Travel Consultant
  4. Instagram Marketing
  5. Brewing Your Own Beer
  6. Tour Guide
  7. Presentation Design Consultant
  8. Tutoring
  9. Teaching Online Courses
  10. Buying and Selling Domain Names
  11. Podcasting
  12. Refurbishing Used Electronics
  13. Tailoring and Alterations
  14. Dog Walking
  15. Editing College Admission Essays

 

If Forbes is suggesting people jump into some of these jobs there are going to be some unsatisfied customers.  Problems might include:

  1. Remote English Teacher– I pray this requires certification
  2. Online Dating Consultant– a person utilizing a consultant for online dating should be required to disclose that to prospective
  3. Travel Consultant– 90% of this hustle would be googling ‘Where to go in XX Place”
  4. Instagram Marketing– #nope
  5. Brewing Your Own Beer– is it legal to sell home-brewed beer, Forbes?  Can’t you make people go blind?
  6. Tour Guide– the Forbes example of touring in a stranger’s stylish VW van is very unsettling
  7. Presentation Design Consultant- for people who can’t find the templates
  8. Tutoring- I would only pay to watch parents berating the hired tutors when little Johnny does poorly on the SATs again
  9. Teaching Online Courses- pretty sure youtube has these covered already
  10. Buying and Selling Domain Names- if you are looking for www.clownpenis.fart
  11. Podcasting- Podcaster see also– Person who like to hear themselves talk
  12. Refurbishing Used Electronics- aka Warranty Voider
  13. Tailoring and Alterations- beware the cutthroat Seamstress Union ya dirty Book Buyer
  14. Dog Walking- let’s call this what it really is Dog Shit Picker Upper
  15. Editing College Admission Essays- see #8

 

I don’t have anything against a person looking to make a little scratch.  Boston is f*cking expensive, and I’m getting tired of hearing the bros playing Fifa downstairs while my neighbor’s nocturnal former race dog runs laps above my bedroom around one in the morning.  I’m looking to buy some peace and quiet.

Since there is a fat chance of this blog making any money(2) looks like I’ll have to go back to Side Hustle School or selling Plasma

 

Can anybody spot me a 5?

 

Footnotes:

1- Individual born between the period of 1982-2004, which seems inaccurate as someone having a kid at 18 would be a Millenial with a millennial kid… oh the horror

2- Most blogs make less than $3.50 a day according to Lifehacker, and that’s when they are trying… which I am obviously not

 

Welcome to ‘A Failure to Communicate’…Keeping a Diary, On Becoming a Diarier

And away we go… Welcome to “A Failure to Communicate,” a third and final attempt at the creation of a regular ‘on the line’ outlet for thoughts.  A diary of sorts, not serious enough to be a journal and without reaching enough people to be considered a blog.  I feel like the person shouting in the woods with no one around to hear.

image

*I don’t think anyone heard me*

Twice previously I attempted to create a recurring column of musings.  The first on Blogger during an extended period in Afghanistan almost a decade ago, which ended before I set foot off the plane. I think my culinary evaluation of in-flight meals garnered several mobile hits from people reading in Mother Russia, but they may have just been tracking the military movements provided by my poor sense of Operational Security (OPSEC).  The second more recent failure was meant to catalog the trials and tribulations of training for a triathlon… but the excuse there is that I was too busy spending hours in the water, on the bike or yogging(1) along the coast.  So here is the third and final try: CoolHandSloot’s “A Failure to Communicate.”

History is littered(2) with great minds who regularly wrote their thoughts.  An exercise in selfish reflection (3), I’m considering this a long form tweet unrestricted by character counts and removed from the hustle and bustle of a too crowded space.  This private affair grants me the right to kick a$$holes out of my virtual living room, and I credit Mr. Money Mustache with that perspective.  It’s not that I won’t invite discussion, but there is a difference between debate and argument(4).

There are a few topics I’ve got planned to cover, but be warned I live a pretty boring life compared to world travelers.   I’m constantly wanting to try new things, so I’ll record those experiences, but don’t expect anything off the beaten path.  Mostly it’s a website about nothing.  I love movies, books, podcasts and I plan to review some of my favorites on this site.  I’ve constantly got random thoughts and questions, and the site may give me an outlet for research and findings.  Most importantly I’ve got a set of goals for the year(5), and I want to regularly and publicly chart progress in an attempt to keep myself accountable.

What do you think?


Footnotes-

1- yogging is like jogging, but slower while listening to an audiobook or podcast

2- littered is the wrong word, but a lot of people write their thoughts down… shoulda used peppered

3- while I edited this post I realized how self-interested and egocentric this all sounded, but chose to leave it as is out of laziness and figuring I’ll try to do better next time

4- specifically the amount of veins showing in the forehead

5- soon to be posted once I figure out the best way to group them