On The Side Hustle

Once referred to as a side job, the more contemporary term ‘side hustle’ denotes sources of extra income hold the allure of extra discretionary spending or upgrades of essential items like domicile, transportation and sustenance Unfortunately as one of the oldest and wisest of the Millenials(1), when researching possible income supplements ‘side hustles’ appear to be less of a second job and more of a quick cash grab.

 

rich-guy

how much for the stupid glasses?

 

When I started in on some research of possible second incomes I found an article on Forbes which attempted to capture the easiest ways for Millenials to be handed money as soon as possible.  They include activities like:

  1. Remote English Teacher
  2. Online Dating Consultant
  3. Travel Consultant
  4. Instagram Marketing
  5. Brewing Your Own Beer
  6. Tour Guide
  7. Presentation Design Consultant
  8. Tutoring
  9. Teaching Online Courses
  10. Buying and Selling Domain Names
  11. Podcasting
  12. Refurbishing Used Electronics
  13. Tailoring and Alterations
  14. Dog Walking
  15. Editing College Admission Essays

 

If Forbes is suggesting people jump into some of these jobs there are going to be some unsatisfied customers.  Problems might include:

  1. Remote English Teacher– I pray this requires certification
  2. Online Dating Consultant– a person utilizing a consultant for online dating should be required to disclose that to prospective
  3. Travel Consultant– 90% of this hustle would be googling ‘Where to go in XX Place”
  4. Instagram Marketing– #nope
  5. Brewing Your Own Beer– is it legal to sell home-brewed beer, Forbes?  Can’t you make people go blind?
  6. Tour Guide– the Forbes example of touring in a stranger’s stylish VW van is very unsettling
  7. Presentation Design Consultant- for people who can’t find the templates
  8. Tutoring- I would only pay to watch parents berating the hired tutors when little Johnny does poorly on the SATs again
  9. Teaching Online Courses- pretty sure youtube has these covered already
  10. Buying and Selling Domain Names- if you are looking for www.clownpenis.fart
  11. Podcasting- Podcaster see also– Person who like to hear themselves talk
  12. Refurbishing Used Electronics- aka Warranty Voider
  13. Tailoring and Alterations- beware the cutthroat Seamstress Union ya dirty Book Buyer
  14. Dog Walking- let’s call this what it really is Dog Shit Picker Upper
  15. Editing College Admission Essays- see #8

 

I don’t have anything against a person looking to make a little scratch.  Boston is f*cking expensive, and I’m getting tired of hearing the bros playing Fifa downstairs while my neighbor’s nocturnal former race dog runs laps above my bedroom around one in the morning.  I’m looking to buy some peace and quiet.

Since there is a fat chance of this blog making any money(2) looks like I’ll have to go back to Side Hustle School or selling Plasma

 

Can anybody spot me a 5?

 

Footnotes:

1- Individual born between the period of 1982-2004, which seems inaccurate as someone having a kid at 18 would be a Millenial with a millennial kid… oh the horror

2- Most blogs make less than $3.50 a day according to Lifehacker, and that’s when they are trying… which I am obviously not

 

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